Falling Short and in Need Of Grace

I have admittedly avoided writing the last portion of the year. Every sentence I wrote felt too emotionally charged. I fully understand that my feelings lead me through a terrible decision making process and with the racial tensions, flight disruptions, comfortability at home other changes I can say that I have been in desperate of love in my emotional processing. See, a problem w being so outwardly loving is that people neglect the fact that you may not be getting what you are giving. This lack caused this blog today. Stay close to me because I feel a ramble coming on.

Let’s skip the small talk. I’m lonely and I frustratingly remember vividly what it feels like NOT to be so I want it. I know that my life is full of travels and world marvels. That it seems like I live on vacation and have the day planner and contacts of a socialite, but what I want is stereotypically what I don’t have and the closer it gets the more I reach for it even if from the wrong locations.

Surely this isn’t a big deal right. A little returned flirting here, allowing a hug to linger a little longer than normal there can’t hurt anyone. Fully disregarding that every interaction entertained is slowly creating space for compromise. Yesterday I willingly walked completely into that compromise.

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

God is faithful. I am unworthy.

I write this to remind you that the promises of God are greater than any of this world. That what He has promised us will not return void. That the offers of this world are in NO COMPARISON to what God has for us and if we wait we shall see the limitlessness of a life lived that glorifies our Lord.

It is going to be easy? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Can I also be honest and say that had I spent more time in my word that I wouldn’t have had time to open myself up for potential failure… When you see me, I could go for a hug.

-Courtney

One Reply to “Falling Short and in Need Of Grace”

  1. Awwwww I absolutely love your transparency. We fall short everyday but God is there and through him we are made strong. Praying for you hun! It doesn’t get easier but you can become stronger.

    Like

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